Just call me Ben. God of Coffee.
It’s the end of a long day. I’m crouched down behind the coffee machine, cleaning the milk fridge ready for the morning.
Suddenly, I hear the voice of a middle aged woman.
“Excuse me, can I say something to you?”
Oh fuck.
I look up, withering stare ready and armed. I’m not in the mood for dealing with a complaint - it’s the end of the day and I just want to go home.
“In thirty years of travelling around the world, that was the most beautiful coffee I’ve ever seen. The pattern on top was outstanding, it looked like a native New Zealand fern or something. My husband’s a botanist, and got quite excited when he saw it. I just wanted to let you know how impressed we were.”
That took me off guard. I shelved the withering stare, and replaced it instead with a sheepish smile and a quiet ‘thanks a lot.’
On the inside, however, things were rather louder.
“Oooooh yeah. You know it. I fucken rock. I know. It’s cool. I would be awed in my presence as well. Just call me Ben, God of Coffee. A simple bow is enough, really. None of this grovelling. Ok, a little more grovelling.”
Needless to say, my mood perked up considerably.
The boss even overheard (always a bonus) and gave me a bottle of wine. My mood increased even more.
It is nice to have your work appreciated 
(Unfortunately, upon arriving home and opening my bottle of wine, I realised that some idiot had opened it already about a week earlier before seeing that a similar bottle was already open. They screwed the lid back on and put it in the fridge. It smelt and tasted foul. I had one sip. Gutting.)
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4 Responses to “Just call me Ben. God of Coffee.”
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Adey Ben, 2 months without a post is terrible. Get moving!!!!!
yojoe What about Missile Pops?
Shannon OMG. Check it out… http://mudhead.uottawa.ca/~pet e/beard.html
Ben A singular beer won’t quite cut it. But you’re on the right track…
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Ha. God of Coffee… How do you like Stephen Fry? He has a blog: http://stephenfry.com/blog/ and its all geekified.
It is nice to be appreciated now and again, even if it’s with bad wine.
I am in awe of you, God of Coffee.
Very good. Continue.