pMetrics Stats

I’m a stats whore. I’ll admit it.

I love seeing how many people come visit my site, where they come from, what they do. I guess I’m just nosy.

For ages I’ve been looking for that perfect stats program.

Sure, the stats provided by Wordpress.com are pretty good (I can get them through a nifty plugin). But they don’t go into quite enough depth for me. I want something that I can waste a good amount of time looking at.

Google Analytics - it’s too big. I can’t figure it out. There’s too much stuff, and very little of what I want. That, and it takes several hours to update. I want real time, thank you very much.

For a while, I’ve been drooling over Mint. It looks nice. Seems like it’ll do everything I want it to. Only thing that’s been holding me back is that it costs $30 US. Feeling quite poor right now, splashing out for stats isn’t high on my list.

I almost did though.

Until I found pMetrics. I think these guys might be even better. A plugin integrates everything right into my Wordpress Dashboard. I can see all the usual stats stuff, like how many visitors, where they came from, etc etc.

But I can also see locations. Like, where in the world you all come from. Down to the city.

pmetricsmap.jpg

I can assign different IPs names, so it’s easier to see exactly who’s visiting and doing what. I currenty just assigned Shannon’s work PC, and Wendy. Could tell it was you guys because of your referrers ;)

It breaks the search hits you get down into search strings, keywords, and search engines. Better than a few others which only show the different search strings.

And the most fun feature for me is something called “Spy.”

Basically, it tracks in real time what’s happening on your site. You can leave the window open and it just updates everytime someone visits, showing where they come from, what they do, and where they go.

Cool huh?

Kinda scared now? I’m watching you….

It also integrates you feed stats from Feedburner, so you can keep track of everything all in the same place.

Go try it out.

October 12, 2007 | Filed Under Geek | 8 Comments 

Rule #34 of the Internet

In reponse to those who are getting linked to or found by porn searches, I would like to point out the following…

rule 34

Note that the person who made that comic actually registered the address, and has had a few submissions…

October 12, 2007 | Filed Under Guitar | 3 Comments 

Coffee makes me schizophrenic.

Ben 1: I know you bought coffee.

Ben 2: What? Oh. Shush. I’m trying to do my essay.

Ben 1: I know you did. I can smell it. The whole house smells of coffee. It smells wonderful.

Ben 2: Hrmm? Good.

Ben 1: Why are you just sitting there?

Ben 2: What? Because I’m working, that’s why.

Ben 1: But you bought coffee on the way home.

Ben 2: Yup.

Ben 1: And the house smells beautifully of it.

Ben 2: Yup.

Ben 1: So go make some!

Ben 2: What? Ben. You had a mocha like an hour. You don’t need coffee now.

Ben 1: Yeah, but this is real coffee. Freshly roasted and ground today. And it smells so good. Please?

Ben 2: Look, if you have coffee now, you’re going to get all jiterry and get nothing done.

Ben 1: Mexican Chiapas…. crisp acidity, hint of spice and chocolate…

Ben 2: Just wai-

Ben 1: Mmmmm.

Ben 2: What? My god where did that cup of coffee come from?

October 11, 2007 | Filed Under Coffee | 3 Comments 

Up next: Two days from hell.

Remember that horrible class I’m taking where the assessment is rediculously structured in a way to ensure that everyone gets the lowest mark possible?

Where 10% of your entire mark is determined by your draft introduction? And how the lecturer doesn’t bother to return the proposals until the day when the introduction is due, thereby preventing a chance of improvement?

He’s trumped himself.

I mean seriously. He must have planned this.

70% of the course determined in the next two days by way of test and the remainder of the essay.

The test, tomorrow, is two hours long.

We have to write one essay and seven paragraphs.

He was nice enough to give us a “study sheet” with four essays and twenty-three paragraph questions. The sheet clearly states “You will have one hour and 50 minutes to complete the test. You will be asked to select ONE essay question and SEVEN paired identifications from the list below.”

Yesterday we get a ‘clarification’ email reminding us that, contrary to what the sheet implies, not all of the options will appear in the test. HE suggests that only two of the essay questions will appear, and around 10 paragraphs.

So we need to prepare for three essay questions.

‘Get over it’ I hear you say - you have the questions, it’s not that bad.

But no.

These questions are the questions from hell. They have barely been covered by the course work, and require a lot of extra independant research. Not quite what’s to be expected in a test…

So I’m going to have a fun night :)

Then, tomorrow, I get to go and do the test. Come home. And try to finish what is likely the worst essay I have ever written. Hopefully I do well in the test, I’m going to need to.

Got quite stressed about it all before. Just stopped everything. Took a break. Grabbed the guitar out. Spent half an hour just playing. IG’s latest playalong is brilliant, bloody inspiring. It’s amazing how relaxing and de-stressing jamming is. A bit like Shannon’s kick-boxing I guess. Just more mellow. And less sweaty. And doesn’t make me want to hit people.

I need to change my strings though. Pretty sure the B is about to break.

October 10, 2007 | Filed Under Academia, Guitar | 2 Comments 

It’s not easy being Green

Buses truely suck.

I mean, sure, they’re better for the environment than every one having cars.

But I just hate waiting for them. It’s horrible. You just stare down the road, eyes constantly searching for an oncoming bus.

And then… looks like… pretty sure… yes! It’s a bus.

Better get the ticket out ready so I don’t have to fumble around when I’m getting on.

Look up again, it’s still ages away. Has it even moved? Probably.

Slowly, it comes towards you… and you squint at it, and you realise that it’s not your bus.

So you start the procedure over.

You might take a break every now and then to check your phone, or examine the graffiti around the bus stop. You might play with your ipod a bit, and even look the other direction to see what’s happening down the street. You might kick some stones around, try to check out the hot girl sitting on the bench without being too obvious, or peer into the corner dairy and wonder if there’s something need.

But none of these last more than 15 seconds. Because in that amount of time, anything could have happened on the road. And the bus is probably on its way. (This also prevents you from ever going into the dairy, because you know that as soon as you do, the bus will arrive, and leave before you can get back out.)

Worst is when you get to the bus stop just after the bus left and you don’t know.

And you’re hanging around, waiting, waiting, waiting. Watching as bus after bus arrives… but yours doesn’t.

Happened to me today. I was waiting in the rain.

I actually gave up after five minutes because two buses came and took everyone away with them. There’s always a few people going to Uni at 8.30. So I must have missed it. Decided to head down the road to get coffee.

Get it I did, and then restarted the waiting procedure outside the coffee shop.

When my bus finally arrived, a good 8 minutes late, it arrived in style. It practically limped up, this impressive thumping sound coming from the rear.

True enough, ten minutes into my journey, the bus breaks down. The driver radios for a replacement bus, which takes its sweet time to arrive.

We all clambour into the new bus - well, it’s more a half dash, it was pissing down by this stage.

After what seems like an excruciating wait, the bus driver starts off again. And very nearly crashes into the broken down bus as he turned onto the road. The guy sitting in the front seat actually jumped up and across the aisle.

Finally, in the middle of town, the replacement bus breaks down.

I mean, what the fuck. How hard is it to get a bus which actually works? So we clambour into yet another bus - ironically, the bus which was meant to have come after the one I took, which had by that stage overtaken us.

Got to uni a good hour later than I had planned.

Moral of the story - get to the bus stop on time. Or buy a car.

October 8, 2007 | Filed Under General | 9 Comments 

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