Drowning

I nearly drowned when I was quite young.

We were at the public pools, and I was swimming along in the shallow end fine, and had a floatie board to help me stay up. I couldn’t swim at this stage, so I was forbidden to go out of my depth. Dad was watching over me, making sure I was alright. He asked if I’d be ok if he went to do a few laps. I’d have to make sure I stayed in the shallow end, and my brother would be around to keep an eye on me. I told him i was fine, I had my floatie board.

I developed this kind of game where I would swim with the floatie board, and then kind of push myself under it, propelling under the water, and coming up further down the pool. I was able to get what seemed to be quite a bit of speed up. I kept pushing myself further and further until -shit.

I couldn’t touch the bottom this time. My board was out of reach. And I panicked. I started floundering, splashing around, trying to reach the board. I succeeded only in pushing it further away.

Dad couldn’t hear me calling, of course. Apparently, neither could anyone else. My brother appeared on the edge of the pool. I asked him to give me the floatie. He wouldn’t. He didn’t realise what was going on at first. He did figure it out, but I can’t remember if he did give me the board or not. It’s a bit hazy. He went away. I couldn’t believe it. I was getting tired, and sinking more and more often below the water. I was scared.

Suddenly, I was lifted out of the water. Turns out Nic had gone to get Dad after all. Needless to say, Dad was mortified. He took my too the changing rooms. I was weak and in shock. I vomited up lots of water. It was a fucking close call.

To this day, I don’t like swimming. Wading is fine, but I really don’t like putting my head under. I find it difficult even to put my face under the water in the shower.

The other night Jordan suggested going to the pool every now and then, maybe weekly, to swim lengths. My initial reaction was a straight out ‘no.’ But then I thought about it - maybe it’s what I need. Push myself, get myself to swim again. Again, the idea seems ok, until I realise that the pool will probably go out of my depth. If I could stand anywhere along the length, I think I’d be fine. But I doubt that will be the case. I’ll have to push myself. But it’ll be good for me.

Or we could just play tennis. That might be easier. It’s exercise too, after all.

November 14, 2007 | Filed Under General, Thoughts 

Comments

4 Responses to “Drowning”

  1. Zybron on November 14th, 2007 3:17 am
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    I think you should do the pool and try to overcome your fear. It will be difficult, I’m sure, but I know you will feel better about yourself if you can manage to do this. It’s always a very liberating experience to accomplish a task that you did not believe you could.

  2. Shannon on November 14th, 2007 8:23 am
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    So are you guys working out an exercise programme or something? And did you ever do your detox? You didn’t mention it again, so I’m guessing no…

    When was the last time you were in a pool? I think you’re right about the pushing yourself… It might make it a bit less scary if you’ve done it a couple of times.

  3. WendySkeleton on November 14th, 2007 11:38 am
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    I avoid pools too, but not because I nearly drowned… it’s because of the things that lurk in there. You never know… urine, small pieces of poo, saliva. *Shudder*

  4. Ben on November 14th, 2007 11:56 pm
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    Zybron - Thanks for the support :)

    Shan - If by “detox” you mean beers and steak, then definitely. Last time I was in a pool was before I went to france. Not sure when. I jumped into the ocean from a ship when I was on Spirit of NZ. Freaked me out. Only did it once. But I did it.

    Wendy… uh, thanks for the help dude.

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